fucked up things

So, someone that has recently become what I consider to be a good friend and who I trust and I think trusts me called on Saturday to ask me to finish a shift. For one like this? Anything? The reason? Earlier in the week a call from the mom. Older brother suddenly dealing with cancer. I cannot put it out there any other way except for the truth. The call I got yesterday? Stage four; liver, kidney, pelvis, spine, breastbone, moving into neck. How does this happen in one week?!!!!??? My heart is spinning into oblivion imagining how one deals with watching and feeling what one feels when faced with losing (this is not a definite yet, treatment plan hopefully to be put in place) a piece that has always been there.

Many thanks to friends from afar who have given their opinions on the best their world (closer to where he is) has to offer, the people I had to tell about it today and their willingness to defer to a lesser ability while this unfolds and most especially to anyone who has the energy to put some thoughts into that hippy dippy crap with a post-punk emotion that, well, sending thoughts out might actually make a difference. It's where my cynical mind is headed these days.

And for the reeling brother that is my friend? I am hopeful that time cooking (which is what he is good at and is the rote and routine) will help him to heal as well.