the dreams
Sometimes I wonder about the fears which arise in unconscious thought. Are they real? Do they reflect what is happening in waking state? On the second of two days off. Both mornings I have woken from vivid images of department gone awry. Way fucked up need to make amends awry. Fortunately, they were dreams. Or were they...
First set: cold case is looking nice and full, people are not buying though, suddenly, everything is out of date and there is NOTHING else to put in. I am struggling to understand the fickleness of shoppers. We have something, no one buys it. We try something new. 'Where is that thing you had that I reallyreallyreally want right now'? Where were you when it was available and went bad before it moved? Having outside perspective on what we do for over a day last week should prove to be useful in the end.
Second set: prepping for a wedding gig. Do a bunch of stuff, for some reason leave and agree to return to finish closer to the start time. Return and nothing is where it was, items missing, items suddenly need way more time that normal, guests arriving, shift to bizarre outside event location, feel like I am moving through molasses. The strangest part of this one is that the event is for J's wedding and he is part of the prep and stressed that people are showing up and we are not ready and there I am apologizing for dropping the ball and being stressed about not being ready. Not a fun feeling to wake up to...
How many balls have I dropped? Lately? Only the administrative ones like newsletter articles; at least that's my story and I'm sticking to it. Next time I get two in a row, I'm leaving town. Get in the car and drive and see where I end up. Tonight my brain should have a chance to turn to other activities for a few hours- going to see live music tends to let it wander to relaxation instead of scenarios I need to let other people take care of; at least on my days off.
First set: cold case is looking nice and full, people are not buying though, suddenly, everything is out of date and there is NOTHING else to put in. I am struggling to understand the fickleness of shoppers. We have something, no one buys it. We try something new. 'Where is that thing you had that I reallyreallyreally want right now'? Where were you when it was available and went bad before it moved? Having outside perspective on what we do for over a day last week should prove to be useful in the end.
Second set: prepping for a wedding gig. Do a bunch of stuff, for some reason leave and agree to return to finish closer to the start time. Return and nothing is where it was, items missing, items suddenly need way more time that normal, guests arriving, shift to bizarre outside event location, feel like I am moving through molasses. The strangest part of this one is that the event is for J's wedding and he is part of the prep and stressed that people are showing up and we are not ready and there I am apologizing for dropping the ball and being stressed about not being ready. Not a fun feeling to wake up to...
How many balls have I dropped? Lately? Only the administrative ones like newsletter articles; at least that's my story and I'm sticking to it. Next time I get two in a row, I'm leaving town. Get in the car and drive and see where I end up. Tonight my brain should have a chance to turn to other activities for a few hours- going to see live music tends to let it wander to relaxation instead of scenarios I need to let other people take care of; at least on my days off.
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