Now...
Are things the same? Well yes. Its still the same job, doing the same things, with the same old complaints. But enough of those, you get those often enough. Lets just say, the drama has gotten a little more serious in the last three weeks, and some decisions will have to be either be made or will be made in the next few.
With the ongoing "economic crisis", (really. are we that bad off?), decisions are hard to make and your place in the world might be hard to find. What do you do? if you are like me, you might have noticed that things are not quite like they were 6 months ago. There are not as many posts that list chef in the header when you are out searching. Does this mean that those positions no longer exist? Are they holding off? Will there be a future? Who knows. But looking is hard and seeing the results right now is frustrating. This is kinda beating around the bush, but hopefully you get the message behind the words. It has been good to have a job and one that is stable and paying the bills...but what if?
Last year I had posted a nice list of things I wanted to change about myself...i.e. resolutions. Those were never really accomplished and disappeared when the old blog went under. I am not going to do the same...it is just a list of things that probably wont get accomplished this year...instead I would like to give a link or two...
here is one...
Not food related, but very thought provoking...the art of non conformity; unconventional strategies for life, work, and travel...http://chrisguillebeau.com/3x5/
his words have been rattling around in my head for a few weeks...it would be nice to be able to chunk it all for what you want to do...but...anyway, check it out and maybe there will be inspiration or conformation or whatever.
another...
Toms Twelve Laws of Life...http://nlpco.com/news/2008/12/11/toms-twelve-laws-of-life/, from Tom Hoobyar, StreetSmartCEO.com. not zen chef wisdom but maybe this will help
"Decide
You can decide how your life will go during any moment you choose. This may be that moment."
Does there seem to be a correlation between these posts? Sure...I am soul searching.
A few weeks ago, I was put into a position I was not prepared for, was not really expecting, and did not/ do not really care for. After the shock had worn off, I had a moment of realization/clarity or a lifting of the weight that had been on my shoulders all day. The thought was this...
I can do whatever I want. I just have to accept that and deal with the issues that arise form doing that.
i.e. I don't have to continue to work for a soulless corporation in a dead in job with bosses I don't agree with. I can quit. But I have to deal with what would happen if I did. That is fine. Would I be happier if I was not here right now doing what I am doing? Undoubtably. Would I be in a better potion? Not necessarily. Would I love to go back to just being a line cook like Richie and enjoying the services as they come. Absolutely. But in order to let that happen/make that happen, there will be sacrifices that have to be made. Am I ready to make them? I don't know. I am after all, the biggest chicken ever.
Sarah typed this to me a few weeks ago, and I hope she kills me not for reposting....
"Why is it that this situation seems to continually arise for you? Are you a different person from the one I know and miss? Are you surrounded by complete idiots who do not know there is a way to do things and a way not to do thing? Are you that grumpy and miserable that the grin never creeps over you face anymore in amusement? Does anyone there understand the wanna be executioner and how he functions in the kitchen? Does anyone around you keep pushing themselves to get better and faster and cleaner and more refined? Does anyone care? Why is it so difficult for people to see what is there beneath the asshole? Most pressing right now I suppose; what crap do you have to fix not to be fired? I would hire you in a heartbeat, can't pay to move you across the country, my couch is your couch and I fear that the coop attitude is not up your alley unless you start smoking the green... Someone in the kitchen here already expressed a worry that I would turn it into an 'old school' place whatever that means (do it right or get out? don't be lazy? taste your food? open your eyes?) and I was called a food snob by one of the cooks today. Fully own that one... This is not about me though, it's about you. What will it take to find that golden egg? The place where you can trust yourself and everyone you come in contact with whether you manage them or they manage you? To find that place where there is the shared passion for doing it the best you possibly can, admitting when you screw up, fixing it, being better, creating something glorious and simple, going home, berating yourself, going back again determined to do it with more finesse? Wash, rinse, repeat (sorry, couldn't resist). Are you the same person I knew not so long ago? The one who coaxed me off the edge and got me through the hellhole of a cheese shop that made me want to walk out? How can you find the place that will meet your standards and even raise them? Is it time to walk away and put on the blue apron and be the commis in Napa (finally)? What is it you dream about when you are happy? There is much to put in store in where your mind wanders when you are relaxed enough to let it go for a while. When was the last time you let yourself really relax? Really be Rich instead of the ninja zen chef? Cook something that you feed to other people that really makes you, yes, you Rich , happy and excited to see the reaction of their first taste? Something you would actually sit down to eat yourself instead of cramming meat between bread and calling it sustenance? Thirty days is eternity, or it is the blink of an eye; what are you going to do with them? Is it time to shout FUCK THIS SHIT? It's been a rare communication with you when you express any kind of happiness/contentment/satisfaction/pleasure with your daily grind. Time to make it not a grind, at least reduce it to a press instead. You have this great sensibility of constantly pushing to know moremoremoremore and when you are most you is when you push/pull/force/coerce/persuade the rest of the world to join your ride. Is it time to gather your old clan and start anew with the bistro- fuck money- there are ways. Wish this were more useful than late night spewing. I'll think on it if you think on some of what has been written. Sometimes I worry about you. Regardless, I miss you and wish we could be cooking together somehow.
I think the goal for the new year...and the new life is this...
To find that place where there is the shared passion for doing it the best you possibly can, admitting when you screw up, fixing it, being better, creating something glorious and simple, going home, berating yourself, going back again determined to do it with more finesse?
I don't have to be a negative person all the time
A while ago, months that is, we had a motivational speaker form the company come give us a talk about service. I think that he touched everyone somehow(that is his job after all), but not all of us listened. But I made some notes anyway...
Don't judge people for what they are not
Your employees will not say, "finally you are here! i can start doing things right!"
Employees will only do the right thing because they believe in your message.
Don't blame your job for being dissatisfied- it is you who you are working for.
Either we become greater than our obstacles, or we let our obstacles lead our lives.
It is motive alone that gives character to the action of mankind.
Its a job; if it kills you, get out!
Frustration is an emotional state and displays elements of dislike, anger, annoyance, and defeat.
There will always be people out there who are not as equally qualified as we are.
A strong team is never about individual performance.
And finally,
If you don't believe in yourself, no one else will.
The moral of all this? None...but maybe there is hope...
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