The talk

Happened today, sitting outside in the smoking pit and ended waiting for the rain to abate enought to make it back inside. No one melted. Yesterday a conversation began that involved personal life and screwed up situations with an ages old friend who kept information (and thereby trust) from one of KM's loved ones thereby creating chasms that bring about more honesty and difficult changes that must be addressed. It amazes me that we are so able to keep the crucial life changing secrets from each other out of what appears to be fear. Is that moment of having to ask for help not the one in which we can afford no pretense or preconceived notions of what judgement may ensue? There comes a point when relying on history will take you further than separation. None of this has anything to do with me or has any effect on my life. It is part of becoming an arc in this new circle. One that is welcome- building trust.

Upshot of the talk was to be thanked for bringing the situation to attention, to get a chance to shoot the shit, talk about how different this type of production is from what we are accustomed to, to compare some of the politics to what they could/should be and to begin (that which is clearly central to something here) building trust. I have learned over the past while that I need to have that gut trust with at least a fraction of those around me. Late night ramblings- sure, we'll see how much sense they make in the morning. For now, it calms my lizard br ain to know that I was able to do this and my monkey brain to know that I am letting people in again. Now I have two whole days off to relearn the valley and get the car fixed so I can finally re gister it and do laundry and eat and maybe even cook for myself. Let's see what they bring.