Old Habits

Like eating and shitting and drinking and emoting and feeling die hard. The eating thing is playing games with me again. Don'teatdon'teatdon'teat, taste/spit,taste/spit,taste/spit. I really would like to eat more vegetables and consume them before midnight or later. My habit, let's admit it, is to shovel it in at 1 AM and eat whatever is high protein. Time to feed the machine; it knows when fuel is necessary. And there is something comforting about going to sleep with a full belly though I have never been forced to go without; unless self inflicted.

How strange (yet again) to be wrapped in the world of nourishing others while having no clue how to feed myself. What is it that is so appealing about having the the sticking out hip bone heroin junkie physique that was a part of the past (minus the heroin). Used to be a contest at school for students to make something I would not spit out. Had nothing to do with whether or not it tasted good (chicken was always on the spit list) it had more to do with if it was interesting enough to appeal. There are more that appeal these days thanks to the ingredient quality.

Wish that I could be going to Beth's or the Hurricane for some late night grub about now. Content though I may be to be where I am now, I still wonder- what is it that I wonder as I sit at home and re watch bad 80's flicks and contemplate. While I am content with life, it is not where I thought it would be...